


Faith

by TorrieGrayson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 19:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14315598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TorrieGrayson/pseuds/TorrieGrayson
Summary: Chuck punishes Balthazar for his failings as an angel





	Faith

“I’m going to test you, Balthazar.”

“No.” Balthazar froze, knowing that his father’s tests were always more like punishments for the innocent. “Please, Father,” he began again, apprehensively. “You don’t have to do this. Not to her.” His hands were raised slightly, as if to ease the tension of the moment. To brace himself for when his father’s split-second decision would happen.

“I’m sorry, son. I’m afraid it’s the only way you’ll learn.” Chuck, took a heavy sigh, clearly not wanting to execute the test, but feeling helpless to do so anyway.

“I have learned. I’ll come back to Heaven with you; right now. Please, don’t do this.”

“Do you want to say goodbye?”

Balthazar closed his eyes in defeat. His answer was a bitter whisper. “Yes.”

Chuck snapped his fingers and suddenly Balthazar was standing in her kitchen. He watched her move about in the kitchen as she prepared dinner. She was completely unaware of his presence as she poured herself a glass of wine and swayed her hips, singing along to the music that played from her phone on the counter, occasionally using the pair of tongs in her hands as a microphone.

Suddenly the music stopped and her voice rang out against the silence of the room. Startled, she whipped around, smiling when she saw Balthazar standing there, setting her phone back down on the counter.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight!” She was so excited to see him. Stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. Balthazar snaked his arms around her waist, savoring the feel of her pressed against him. He took in the smell of her hair, remembered the feel of the cotton of her shirt over her back, the softness of her skin where it was exposed. He focused on the feel of her heartbeat against his chest; beating a little quicker than normal as it always did when he would show up and surprise her like this. He was pulled from his thoughts when she cleared her throat, still with their arms wrapped around each other.

“What?”

“I said, my dinner’s gonna burn if you don’t let me go soon,” she joked.

Balthazar let her go, righting himself and apologizing as she turned back to the stovetop to turn it off and move the pan to a cool burner. “Yes. Right. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Is everything alright?” she asked, turning back to face him.

“Of course, why do you ask?”

She shrugged. “You seem a little…quiet. And you just called me Y/N. Not love or darling or sweetheart. You don’t exactly call me by name often. Don’t tell me the world is ending again.”

Balthazar took another deep breath. He was on edge because he knew he was supposed to be saying goodbye; that he was being tested by God right now. He was anxious about what would happen at any moment, but he couldn’t help smiling at her humor. “Everything’s fine, promise.”

She stared for a moment, seeming to decide if he was telling the truth or not. “Alright,” she conceded.

As they lie in bed together that night, Balthazar took to memorizing the color of her eyes every chance he got.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” she asked again, running her finger along the necklace that he always wore. “You’ve been staring at me all day.”

“Everything’s perfect.” After another moment of silence, he spoke up again, taking your hand and bringing up to his mouth to kiss it. “I know I rarely say it, but I do love you. Before you, I was a bitter angel who didn’t give a damn about anything, and now- You have changed my life, Y/N.”

She laughed and though he didn’t know what exactly was going to happen, he was stuck with the sinking feeling that this would be the last time he saw her smile, so he tried to commit that to memory too. “You still are a bitter angel, but at least you’re my bitter angel, and I wouldn’t have you any other way. I love you too, Balthazar.”

He drew her into his arms and she settled in effortlessly. She yawned; stilling a moment as her head spun. “Love?”

“Wow, I am- I must have had too much wine earlier. I’m so sleepy.” She yawned again.

Balthazar tensed but quickly relaxed so as not to startle her. “Go to sleep, Y/N. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

She did as he asked, breathing slowly, relaxing further and letting herself fall asleep. After a few moments, her hand that was on his shoulder fell lax and Balthazar couldn’t feel her heart beating against his chest anymore.

“Y/N?” He released her from his hold, laying her on her back and placing his head on her chest. She wasn’t breathing. Her heart wasn’t beating.

“Wake up, darling,” he whispered desperately, sweeping a few strands of her hair from her face as he tried to wake her. “Come on, Y/N.” Balthazar placed a hand on her forehead in an effort to heal her, but despite his efforts, she remained still.

“My decision requires your grace and unfailing mercy.” Balthazar began to pray. “I give you the things which I have done wrong, the areas where I have failed to act as I should-“

“So you do still have faith in me,” Chuck spoke from where he had appeared a few feet away from the bed, his tone full of remorse. “It’s too late, Balthazar.”

Balthazar shocked himself as a single tear fell from his eyes and landed on her perfect face and rolled down her cheek. He chased it with his thumb, wiping it away before he continued, his eyes never leaving her.

“I pray that your love truly knows no limits. That you will forgive beyond the wreckage of a rogue angel.”

Chuck stepped forward, placing a sympathetic hand on Balthazar’s shoulder. “Stop,” he said softly. “She’s in heaven, now.”

At least he knew she wasn’t suffering. He could at least take relief in that knowledge.

“I’m banishing you from entering heaven so long as she’s there.”

Balthazar let out a bitter laugh as he sat up to look at Chuck. “So long as she’s there,” he mocked. “That your workaround to saying forever?”

“I’ll make her an angel…in time. Y/N hasn’t done anything wrong. I only took her to punish you.” Chuck hesitated as if he wasn’t wholly committed to his actions. “To teach you to-“

“What will you have me do?” he asked, cutting him off, his eyes unwavering.

“Stay here. Keep proving your faith.”

* * * * * *

Balthazar sat on a bench in the park, waiting nervously. Before long, Castiel appeared in the middle of the sandbox and walked to him.

“She’s alright, Balthazar,” Castiel informed before sitting next to his brother. “Her heaven, it’s beautiful.”

“She always had good tastes,” he reminisced aloud. “She’s not afraid or lonely, is she?”

“No. She’s happy. She’ll be okay up there.” Castiel turned his gaze to the sky. “I’ll keep an eye on her for you.”

“Thank you, Cassie.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ve never wanted anything as much I want to be in heaven right now. No chance you’d give me a lift, is there?

Castiel looked at Balthazar apologetically.

“Had to ask.”

“What will you do now, Balthazar? Even if Father started right now; turning a human soul into grace, that takes a very long time. I know you loved her-“

“I still do. Father wanted me to prove my faith before I could see her again, so,” he took a deep breath. “I’ll prove my faith. For her.”


End file.
